And remember, tightening nearly always adds power. At the heart of story is tension, and at the heart of tension is unmet desire.
This story told from any other POV would not have had as much of an impact on me. A work colleague whose life seemed full of adventures. This gos without saying.
An uneven bit of sidewalk blocked her way, and Jyssica tripped and tumbled to the ground in what could only be called inelegant and a toast to her uncoordinated style. MT: What can we expect next from you? Tell your reader just enough to make her care about your main character, then get to the the problem, the quest, the challenge, the danger—whatever it is that drives your story.
Well-written books trigger the theater of the mind and allow readers to create their own visual. The first voice I adopted was that of the boy -- a leap of imagination, you might say, for a woman then in her late 30's whose contact with year-old boys, when she was herself that age, was only as a quiet and shy observer in my high school classroom and my own small town.